Two of the most popular guests were missing from our super-early Christmas party. Instead of joining us in person for sausages and Champagne, BP and her new husband SF communicated to us (and the world) from their bedroom as they awaited the arrival of their new baby.

While we were missing regular guests, we attracted some new (and not so welcome) ones to this year’s event. For example, TPR’s former colleague LC and his wife EC appeared for the first time, having turned down all invitations in the past. Meanwhile I smiled weakly when my old work pal RK turned up uninvited and asked if it was OK if he and his mates could join in the fun. I was hardly in a position to refuse.

Half way through the festivities I realised that another reason why this party was less festive than usual was that we had not hung up the Christmas decorations. I headed upstairs to hunt for fairy lights in the room that we used for storage.

There I found a bag of old exam scripts and a disgruntled student. I told him that I wasn’t going to argue about marks two years after the event and sent him packing.

My next encounter with was even more unpleasant. Somehow I managed to wriggle away from my assailant, then escape the room screaming.