It was a dangerous city at night, yet here I was climbing over walls trying to find my coat and bag after an evening out. I was glad K from school was there to keep me safe.

In the all night cafe we watched an infomercial for an upcoming ‘super rave’ in Columbia. I spotted that the footage of the rink-shaped dance floor had been spliced together from multiple sources. If you looked close enough, you could see football fights from the 1970s. The event organiser was interviewed about his ‘inspiration’ – an eccentric man he’d met who had told him “Don’t worry about the toilet roll, man. People will still come”.

“Well, they’re a bunch of arseholes”, I said loudly to no-one and everyone.