I tried to help in the kitchen but I was doing everything wrong. TPR despaired when I added handwash detergent to the dishwasher.

Instead I would try my luck at cooking, starting with homemade chicken liver pâté, assisted by GB as my sous chef. First of all, however, was the question of how the pair of us would share the few dusty After Eight mints that I found on a high shelf in the hall.

Then I remembered that I was booked on to the 11:30 from Edinburgh Waverley to London Kings Cross. It was already 11:15 and I was still in my pyjamas! My bag was all packed, but I could I get dressed in time for TPR to rush me up to the station by car to catch the train?