I was regretting my decision to accept the invitation to chair the conference, especially now that the ‘man in charge’ was obviously ignoring the programme and directing the delegates keen to hear the plenary session into a field. This was a sure way to lose them all very quickly.

I wanted everyone down the hill in the marquee, where they could also browse the popular jewellery stall (gold loop earrings were the top sellers), the blanket display (I might buy one myself), and the cake stand.