Due to the flood, a quick decision was made to switch the venue of the wedding. Instead of a small parish church in Broadway in the Cotswolds, the venue was now a massive Catholic cathedral in the City of London. (The bride had recently converted.)

With the change of location, and a requirement from the demanding bride that all guests provide proof of (1) a minimum income band and (2) strong academic qualifications, many were now unable to attend the nuptials. Fortunately I held the prerequisites for participation. It didn’t matter at all that I was not wearing shoes.

Afterwards I intended to fly home from Heathrow with LF. My plans fell apart when I lost my suitcase on the tube to the airport. I was sure that I had left it on a luggage rack, but now it was gone.

I forced the man who had stolen my iPhone to pull each case from the rack to see if it were mine. Although many were very similar, my own was still missing. I could only conclude that mistakenly picking up, as well as losing, suitcases was the price we all now have to pay for everyone simultaneously buying suitcases with their Tesco vouchers.