While the others were at the morning marriage ceremony, TPR and I prepared for the afternoon celebrations. We scoured the woods for mushrooms, then brought our haul home to check against the text books. We didn’t want to risk poisoning our family members, all gathered together for S and A’s wedding followed by our 25th anniversary party.

While TPR worked his way through the basket of fungi I agonised over what to wear. I started with a pair of sheer black nylon knickers that laddered as I pulled them on. They were far too tight: I really did need to go on a diet. Then I couldn’t decide between dark and light tights. It was winter so a darker pair was probably more appropriate, but most of my party dresses were in pale pastel colours. When I reached the wardrobe to choose a dress I had to face the awful truth again. I was far too fat to fit into any of these clothes. A trip to the charity shops was my only hope of finding something to wear for the afternoon party.