My recent experience proved that trading standards really needed to sort out the Manchester market trader problem. A stall owner almost sold me a “solid gold” chain at a knock-down price. I only backed out of the deal when she refused to let me touch the goods without first handing over my cash.

My route back from the market to the hotel was also rather dodgy. Somehow I got lost. The only means of discovering the way home was to climb a steep hill from which there was a full view of the city below. My next problem, however, was how to climb down from the summit. It was so steep and icy, and of the three options for the descent – sledge, ski, or banana slide – none appealed.