I drove the red hire car like a maniac rally driver, screeching round corners and off-roading where necessary. This was not deliberate, but due to a lack of familiarity with the car’s controls. Shod in wellies, I also kept missing the brake in favour of the accelerator. This is how I ended up tearing a course through the policeman’s front garden.

Two miles down the coast I thought I’d got away with it. I parked the car on a forestry track opposite a bay where dolphins played. I was just about to put my MacBook away and pop my camera into my anorak pocket when two walkers approached the car. I could tell instantly that they were policewomen in disguise. Without asking, they opened the boot. It was obvious that they were hunting for the body. However, all they found there was a box of left-over conference materials. So long as they didn’t clock the convent’s address on the branded folders, there was no way to connect me to the murdered nun.