Tag Archives: television

Let’s get ready to rhumba (Belle)

Posted on December 9, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I got into a jostling-style altercation with a Strictly Come Dancing professional dancer and I shouted “You just prance around on the telly for a living”.

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Fake retiree organist outed by the press (Rousse)

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Dreamaticus

All the shops on Edinburgh’s Broughton Street opened late to cater for Festival visitors. I felt particularly sorry for the staff at Crombies, still dressed in their white butchery outfits at 9pm. Nevertheless, my father-in-law and I took advantage of … Continue reading →

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Secret Traitors plant is the Orinoco kid (Rousse)

Posted on January 25, 2024 by Dreamaticus

The Traitors’ production team planted me amongst the players at the start of episode 1. My role was to drop conversational prompts into discussions to generate entertaining dialogue for the television footage. As I completed my mission, I wondered at … Continue reading →

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Fragile fingernails – and fame (Belle)

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I turned to a stranger on the bus and jokingly said “every time I simply look at my fingers, another nail breaks off”. What followed was a whirlwind. Within a week, my fingernails were the front page story of the … Continue reading →

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David Beckham’s affair and an athletic hairy beast (Rousse)

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Dreamaticus

David Beckham and I snuggled up together in bed. We hadn’t known each other very long, and were still married to our spouses, so our relationship was a very special secret. Our game was up on the afternoon that three … Continue reading →

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A reluctant comedy writer (Rousse)

Posted on September 25, 2023 by Dreamaticus

A bunch of friends came to visit us. Some stayed in our main rental flat with the enormous high-sided bath, while others lodged in the smaller one next door. (We also owned a very run-down flat in Leith, although neither … Continue reading →

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A bumper garlic crop at the Annual Alien Horticulturists’ Convention (Rousse)

Posted on September 17, 2023 by Dreamaticus

‘Hey, look at the size of that garlic head!’ I urged the rest of the family. ‘These aliens certainly know how to grow a bumper crop.’ They weren’t real aliens. Rather, they were keen gardeners who liked to dress up … Continue reading →

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Courtship rituals for the widowed and widowed-to-be (Rousse)

Posted on May 17, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I met the young red-haired doctor around the time of TPR’s final illness. It was convenient (to me) that he had lost his wife to cancer a year earlier. Amongst our courtship activities we marked (appalling) Masters dissertations, walked through … Continue reading →

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Starring with Rob Brydon (Rousse)

Posted on November 9, 2021 by Dreamaticus

When TPR invited me to sit down in front of the television to watch the hottest new interactive television quiz show produced by Rhys John, Rob Brydon spotted me on the sofa and gave me a cheery wave.

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Paddington Bear wannabe is Prime Minister (Rousse)

Posted on September 29, 2021 by Dreamaticus

Unwittingly, I was the star of a new reality television programme. A huge crowd of brash, rowdy women picked on me so mercilessly that the pitying viewers nominated me as a candidate in the general election. Not only did I … Continue reading →

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