Accommodation angst with an archeologist (Rousse)

Posted on December 17, 2025 by Dreamaticus

Life would be a lot easier if I lodged with archeologist RJ at least one night a week in her shared flat in Newington. So we made an arrangement for me to start a trial run on Wednesday.

I bought my provisions – as far as I could – from an understocked supermarket just along the road, helped by JM who flung packs of processed cheese slices at me. All the packaging split as the cheese slices hit the aisle, but JM didn’t care. The supermarkets could afford the loss.

I soon realised that my new accommodation arrangement was not going to work. I hated sharing a bedroom and kitchen facilities, and I was furious when my Scarpa shoes went missing from the shoe rack at the front door. Someone had obviously clocked their value and stolen them, along with my £600 calf skin orthotics.

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From holiday to homeless (Belle)

Posted on December 16, 2025 by Dreamaticus

My holiday in a mystery European city was turning into a disaster. When I asked “where am I?” people thought I was joking and refused to answer. The road layout kept on changing, and the students who were hosting me were starting to get irritated by my phone calls asking them to find me and bring me back to their home.

At last it was time to return home. But I couldn’t remember if I was travelling by train or plane. I kept asking my hosts but they were distracted with “more important stuff”. By now I had lost my phone, my suitcase, had no money and was wandering the streets. Eventually, and completely accidentally, I found my way back to the apartment block, only to discover that everyone had been evicted and the building was being demolished. No wonder my hosts had been distracted – now we were all homeless.

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Unwelcome chair, cat, and guest (Rousse)

Posted on December 16, 2025 by Dreamaticus

What was my mother’s old recliner-riser chair doing back in our sitting room?

Why was my sister’s cat rolling round on the floor?

And – more to the point – how had my sister managed to get into the house overnight to set up camp in our study?

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Belle invents a new word

Posted on December 13, 2025 by Dreamaticus

While trying to explain the enormous pumpkin I had accidentally grown, and which was now stored on the kitchen floor, I told my neighbour it was caused by ‘probundance’ – problematic abundance.

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Party animal (Belle)

Posted on December 11, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I woke up on a park bench and saw I was wearing a very ugly pair of bulky black shoes. I asked my companion what had happened. He explained that I had been ‘blackout drunk’ and had gone on a shopping spree, declaring that this was the day I was giving up high heel shoes. I could not accept this story. I had never been drunk in my entire life. Nor would I have willingly thrown away a pair of stiletto shoes.

Later that day, I went to a party and stayed out all night. The sun was pouring into the party house and I sat on a sofa trying to remember how I’d got there. Strangers kept telling me “the party’s over” but I did not take the hint to leave until five people sat on me, squashing me flat.

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Let’s get ready to rhumba (Belle)

Posted on December 9, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I got into a jostling-style altercation with a Strictly Come Dancing professional dancer and I shouted “You just prance around on the telly for a living”.

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Natural conception at 62 (Rousse)

Posted on December 9, 2025 by Dreamaticus

When I discovered that I was pregnant, my first thought was for our holiday plans next year. To my surprise, my husband was unconcerned.

It took some time before I questioned how someone aged 62 could find herself in this position. Did I really want to take care of a teenager into my 70s?

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Rousse’s ear-ring recovery

Posted on November 30, 2025 by Dreamaticus

One of Professor SR’s tiny ear-rings dropped to the ground. All the staff gathered around her tried to recover it by scratching through the dirt and dust, but I was the one who found it.

She told me that she was very grateful for the efforts of a ‘stranger’. I replied with the explanation that I was connected to her more closely than she might imagine, especially through my links to Professors DM and JS.

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Tackling Scottish ridge walks in winter (Rousse)

Posted on November 28, 2025 by Dreamaticus

NP was seriously considering TW’s suggestion that they walk ‘The needle’ in January. Neither had the fitness nor skills to tackle this treacherous ridge near Ullapool under winter conditions.

I hoped that my pleas would put them off such a reckless venture.

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Mother returns from the dead to interfere in household tasks (Rousse)

Posted on November 27, 2025 by Dreamaticus

My (deceased) mother accidentally loaded the tumble dryer with a pile of dirty laundry and a cup of soap powder. Before she switched it on, I retrieved all the clothes and carried them in a bundle to Corbridge.

On the outskirts of the village I found my (also deceased) paternal grandmother living in a handsome stone house next to a field of Shetland ponies. I complained to my granny about the mix-up with the washing.

I also questioned my granny about the appearance of my mother. What business did she have interfering in my domestic duties, especially since she was dead?

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