Return from the dead in an empty multi-storey car park (Rousse)

BMcK emerged through the gloom of the bottom level of an empty multi-storey car park.

“Go away!” I shrieked. “You’re meant to be dead!”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Newspaper gossip (Rousse)

Apparently a national newspaper was about to report what XY-Z said to NP as witnessed by LM. This could get messy.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

A prediction, skewered prawns, and rude remarks about Dame Kelly Holmes (Rousse)

The stranger was astonished when I guessed that he was a city worker who had retired early from a career in finance. I was almost right: he’d spent his entire working life at the Treasury.

After queuing for my food at the buffet table (and waiting for a fresh supply of skewered prawns) I looked around for my new friend. I thought that he would make a good dining companion so hoped to sit with him.

Unfortunately all the places at his table were taken so I took my plate of food to the shoreline. There I could watch the seals in the sunshine as I ate. The hotel proprietor called me straight back from the water’s edge. If I sat there, I’d be swept into the sea as soon as the tide came in.

I now needed to find somewhere else to sit so I wandered over to the tennis umpire’s chair. If I were able to climb up here, this would make a good vantage point.

As I put my foot on the bottom step of the ladder to climb up to the chair I heard some guards make rude remarks about Dame Kelly Holmes.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

House train a puppy in 12 weeks (Rousse)

This was the kind of puppy I liked: small, soft, furry and friendly – and house-trained at 12 weeks.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Couple transform modest semi into feline zoo with big cat pet collection (Rousse)

P and S sold their place in the country as they moved nearly all their investments out of property. They were now living in a modest 1970s semi on a small housing estate.

P invited a bunch of school friends round to the new house for a small reunion. There were three tables set up in the dining room for a meal. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a big Siamese cat creep to over to my table to eye up our food. I pushed it away, only to see a tiger enter the room!

Before long I had counted six further species of big cat resident at P and S’s house. Their new abode was a feline zoo.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Assignment deadline mix-up (Rousse)

I was proud of my student who advised the stranger on the street of impending assignment submission deadlines. However, I felt that I had to butt in and say that this sort of enquiry should really be routed to the school office rather than a new friend.

My student took this very badly. She thought that I was being critical of her kindness. This was not my intention at all.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Advice for a NQT? Don’t go into teaching! (Rousse)

I bumped into my school friend KC (wearing a hideous pale blue fake satin 1980s style ballgown) and her daughter K at a service station on the M5. The daughter explained that she had just finished teacher training. She asked if I could offer her any career advice. “Don’t go into teaching”, I replied.

Towards the end of the conversation I acknowledged that KC was not wearing a wedding ring and that her daughter’s surname was not the same as her own. “That’s because D and I are getting divorced” said KC. “You’ll read more about it in our Christmas newsletter”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Karaoke in vest and pants (Rousse)

I joined TPR at the bar as he was paying for a round of drinks. £38 seemed an extortionate amount, and I hadn’t yet added my own order.

At the other side of the bar a screen came to life, then music flooded the room. It was karaoke time!

KA shouted from our table that she wanted to go first. She took to the stage to sing her heart out, neatly dressed in vest and pants.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ineffective Italian lessons (Rousse)

JC and I sat at the dinner table desperate to join in the conversation across the room. An Italian mother was making a hopeless attempt to teach her native language to her English-speaking children.

Both JC and I could do a much better job of this.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monster tuna fish washed up in massive Hebridean tidal wave (Rousse)

My sister JMH and I shared a small double bed in a tiny hotel room positioned high above an Outer Hebridean bay. Others, including my old school friend HP, used our room as a thoroughfare.

One morning when we looked out of the window we saw a high tidal wave flood the bay. Carried along in the surge of water were seals and dolphins – and tuna fish the size of whales.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment