Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dog becomes monk (Belle)

Posted on March 15, 2019 by Dreamaticus

T the dog joined a monastery and started to wear a tiny brown habit. His official role was mouse-catcher although he let the mice go after he caught them. The CEO arrived at a building site to address a small … Continue reading →

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A toilet knee-trembler with Tom Hiddleston (Belle)

Posted on March 13, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Tom Hiddleston locked us into the hotel lobby toilet. He was much more into it than I was. I kept thinking about the bathroom I was supposed to be deep cleaning. Later, outside in the slush and snow, local yobbos … Continue reading →

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Long lost auntie turns up in Brazil (Rousse)

Posted on March 11, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I was in Brazil to learn Portuguese. One day when I was out on the street (to steal a pair of black knickers to go with my navy blue patterned T shirt) I noticed from behind an old lady edging … Continue reading →

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Shopping disturbances (Rousse)

Posted on March 9, 2019 by Dreamaticus

VAE and CM telephoned me from a ‘country fare’ style gift shop. VAE leant against a display of pink stilettos as she was speaking to me. She shouted in alarm when the first one on the shelf toppled over and … Continue reading →

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Marine stegosaurus stalks walkers on Edinburgh canal track (Rousse)

Posted on March 9, 2019 by Dreamaticus

All the animals – including ferocious lions and tigers – broke free from their enclosures at Edinburgh zoo. Fortunately I was in complete safety, high up in the cabin of my red tractor. However, my fortunes changed when I later … Continue reading →

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Car jack lover (Rousse)

Posted on March 8, 2019 by Dreamaticus

FJ jumped into the car, grabbed the wheel, and declared his undying love for me.

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Morpeth train disaster (Rousse)

Posted on March 8, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Whatever the reason that TPR stepped onto the platform at Morpeth, when he attempted to rejoin the service he accidentally climbed into the carriage of a different northbound train – non-stop to Pitlochry! I screamed at him to disembark, but … Continue reading →

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Triple dating with James Corden (Belle)

Posted on March 7, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I had no idea why current boyfriend (TM) had invited former boyfriend (JHI) out on a date with us. Everything was made more awkward by the addition of James Corden to our little group. Then JHI was kidnapped outside of … Continue reading →

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A Hebridean Holy Island (Rousse)

Posted on March 4, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Holy Island was looking rather Hebridean with its towering peaks and sandy lochs. I sat at the water’s edge with JMH trying to work out whether the island had switched coastlines. Had it somehow landed on the west coast of … Continue reading →

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Tackling mould with Gordon Ramsey (Belle)

Posted on March 4, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Every cupboard I opened had a spectacular, kaleidoscopic mould growth. My colleagues were filthy pigs. I spent hours in rubber gloves scrubbing away. In one cupboard I found a strange metal and glass object.  At first, I thought it was … Continue reading →

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