Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Pilates pain (Rousse)

Posted on July 24, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I walked into the pilates class to find my nemesis sitting on the floor at the back of the room, planning her next move. She called me out on two counts: for being late (I was not), and my ‘enormous … Continue reading →

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Graham Robinson identified (Rousse)

Posted on July 24, 2024 by Dreamaticus

A rather handsome man with dark red hair, and smudges of black eyeliner around his eyes, took his place at the end of the table. ‘Well hello there Rousse!’ he smiled with a great degree of familiarity. ‘Here we go … Continue reading →

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A pet lamb, a Schnauzer, and a monkey (Rousse)

Posted on July 24, 2024 by Dreamaticus

TPR conceded that since our elderly long-term lodger kept us at home much of the year, we could add to our menagerie of creatures. I ordered online a white pet lamb, an overweight Schnauzer dog, and a little monkey. They … Continue reading →

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An extra-marital affair and golf (Rousse)

Posted on July 23, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I confronted TPR in the family bathroom, unaware that TEF was climbing out of the bath. ‘I know that you are having an affair with DTJ!” I screeched. How could he be so disloyal? And what was she doing cosying … Continue reading →

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(More) conference confusion (Rousse)

Posted on July 19, 2024 by Dreamaticus

My sister S drove the rickety old grey Land Rover. Her passengers were my other sister, her husband, their daughter, and their daughter’s partner. They carried hardly any luggage having ‘gone minimal’ after their recent house clearance experiences. This meant … Continue reading →

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A burglar’s furniture fetish (Rousse)

Posted on July 14, 2024 by Dreamaticus

Every time that I walked into the sitting room, the two sofas were arranged in a different way from before: both pushed against the window; one upside down, one upright; one next to the radiator the right way up, the … Continue reading →

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Northumbrian holiday secrets of ABBA (Rousse)

Posted on July 13, 2024 by Dreamaticus

Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson bounded down the narrow staircase. Agnetha Fältskog and Anni-Frid Lyngstad followed more quietly behind them. Nobody had ever spotted the four members of ABBA on their regular visits to Northumberland. It was our family secret … Continue reading →

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A lecture, a disco, and a swim (Rousse)

Posted on July 12, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I lost my place in my notes, then found it again but couldn’t make sense of them. Added to my woes, the few students who had bothered to turn up to my last ever lecture clearly did not appreciate my … Continue reading →

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Fish hypnotism (Belle)

Posted on July 9, 2024 by Dreamaticus

As I was being introduced to a stranger, my friend stage-whispered: “She participated in the International Catfish Hypnotism Championships last week”.

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Redesigning tulips (Belle)

Posted on July 9, 2024 by Dreamaticus

It had been my lifelong ambition to improve tulips. I had always felt that they could ‘do better’. After many years, I demonstrated my invention – a velcro-fastened sheath that slipped over the flower and looked just like a tulip. … Continue reading →

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