My friend S encouraged me to attend what promised to be a ‘spectacular’ event hosted by the Peckham Society.

Things went wrong immediately when S handed me her phone and told me I was now the official videographer for the evening. However, she refused to give me the code to unlock the phone, so I found myself in an endless loop of walking to where she was sitting, having her enter her code, walking to the front of the stage, finding the phone had locked again, and back around.

The first performer arrived. It was an elderly man weaving on an ancient loom. He explained what he was doing in a foreign language. No translator was provided. Then several dancers took to the stage. It was clear, however, that dance partners were meeting for the first time on stage, there had been no rehearsals and none of them knew how to lindyhop.

The evening dragged on. I hadn’t eaten all day. I started to giggle hysterically and other audience members joined in. I knew I was going to be blamed for this fiasco.