Before Belle and I set off on our Canadian Rockies adventure, we first had to pick the dog up from the vet. Black was a tiny sweet Affenpincher and very excited to be reunited with us after his (expensive) operation.

I also liked the idea of bringing my former colleague AT along on the trip. We found him in the narrow kitchen of my maternal grandmother’s house. (We also saw my grandmother herself briefly, heading to bed in a bright pink nightie.) AT was keen to join us, hopeful of finding romance along the way.

The others met us in the middle of the wilderness. Nobody had a map. As night fell, I feared that we would be stuck out in the cold overnight without shelter. I also worried that I would miss my appointment the next day to deliver a guest lecture in Brazil.

Then, in the distance, we spotted a castle beside a lake. As we neared it, we heard English voices. Once inside, we discovered Boris Johnson hosting a lively house party. Amongst his guests was the prime minister. He offered a clawed hand for each of us to shake.

Boris provided us with attic accommodation for the night. This was fine for the others, but – due to claustrophobia – I did not have the courage to join them when they climbed the cloth ladder to their beds.