The Girl Guides had set up camp in my street and I found it enchanting and irritating in equal measure. I decided to take my rubbish out to the bins so I could spy on them.

As I walked towards the bin-shed, it became pitch black. Yet I could still make out the figure of a mugger riding towards me on a bicycle. We got into a tangled fight which I was losing until I started to beat the man hard around the head with half a rotten cabbage. “Don’t mess with me!”, I screamed.