My cousin F’s bride struggled to reach the alter under the weight of her dazzling diamond-encrusted wedding gown. While they waited for C to reach her destination, the congregation puzzled over her choice of music for walking down the aisle: I’m coming out by Diana Ross.

Even more surprising was the sudden appearance of a gang of circus clowns. A custard pie battle served as a prelude to the marriage service.

I just wanted the ceremony to be over. I had only accepted the wedding invitation because I knew that all the cousins would be there, and that this would offer the rare occasion to photograph my relations together in the same place at the same time.