I was sitting outside a cafe with my very old flame JHI when we saw Deptford’s famous ‘free-running rooster’ tumbling elegantly across the rooftops. I made an oath not to eat roast chicken that day.

The documentary short featured the best strawberry picker of 2018. She came from the Isle of Wight and was filmed rescuing feral puppies on the cliff paths of the island. I admired her auburn hair, and hated her for it.

Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint had waited over ten years for the cast of the TV programme Changing Rooms to finish the makeover of their bedrooms.  Everyone seemed to find this hilarious.