Belle and I were having huge problems dealing with TIX. Although we were terribly impressed by her recent weight loss, we were distressed to discover that she had also lost her mind.

When she jumped out of the car in Leith and disappeared into the dark along the street we thought that she was gone forever. How on earth could we confess our carelessness to T’s husband? We would have to hunt her down.

I dumped the car in a disused entrance of an abandoned park, then set off to recover our demented friend. I eventually found her sitting in a chair in a neat hotel bedroom. She did not recognise me. However, she explained that she was very happy here and preferred to be left to her own devices from now on.