It was only when the lecturer said that we had to buy presents for the keynote speaker and ‘mom and dad’ that I understood how she had been appointed. Then I considered my own status as a former veterinary nurse. I concluded that this was more a case of convenience than nepotism.

I followed the lecturer out of the building. At first we tried to get out using a wooden staircase, but this was very difficult to navigate due to the great gaps between slatted steps. We changed our route and took a banisterless set of stairs down a brick tower instead.

Once outside I sensed that the others had been making fun of me. I threw all my documents into a bog and ran away. No amount of persuasion would bring me back.