I wed BB around ten years ago, but we never got round to consummating our marriage – which was just a well because we both had ‘real’ spouses of our own. An occasional quick hug and chat was all that we expected of one another.

I last saw BB on the day that XY ordered in a big plate of home delivery pork to cheer her up over her awkward doctoral supervision arrangements. She ordered the same for me, and a duck breast. The delivery man lingered for some time in expectation of a tip that never materialised.

After the meal we discussed weight and diets with my cousin EV at a table inside a big white marquee.