I hadn’t appreciated the poor state of public transport in the US until I attempted to use the service to get from a conference hotel to an airport.

The driver and his lackeys were particularly unkind to passengers. They did not keep to a timetable, and if you were lucky enough to catch the service, you had to enter into negotiations to be allowed off it again.

The bus company workers were particularly cruel to the British. In our case, they separated me and TPR from the other passengers then peppered us with white lichen.

I could tell that TPR was very distressed by this. He forgot to pick up his black hand-knitted jumper when he left the bus shelter to board the bus. Fortunately I spotted it just in time.