In her vast farmhouse kitchen (with two modified dishwashers and two fridges) my Cousin B (hair all coiffed) offered us each a chocolate mousse, plus a carton of double cream to share. As she headed out of the door to check into her Travelodge for the evening, I asked TPR where he would like to eat our puddings.

“In carriages 11 and 12”, he replied, meaning the nearby sitting room.

I went through to take a seat on the red sofa amongst the others who were due to attend the wedding later that evening. TPR did not follow, but ate his mousse at the kitchen table instead.

I was very upset that he had abandoned me. I punished him when he returned by refusing to speak to him – until he revealed that he had used our time apart to plan a holiday which included a weekend in Budapest.