Each year I held a party for my colleagues at which I supplied a wide selection of homemade food. JK was a great fan of the event, as was BP: they had both attended six years in a row.

This year I was so stressed that I was obliged to buy in provisions. I asked if anyone would like to accompany me to Sainsburys to do the shopping. XY volunteered, but only after someone had given him a back massage.