Elton John screamed at George Michael to grow up. Then he flung the upholstered waste paper basket at him. It missed, and landed at my feet. George then came over to moan at me about his relationship with Elton John.

Listening to complaining pop stars was not on my list of things to do while on holiday. Indeed it had come as a complete surprise to find these two in residence at the Danish sauna that we were renting from MSB over Easter.

I had no idea that MSB mixed in such circles, nor that she regularly lent out her holiday home to her rich and famous friends.