The head of Peebles public library service was furious with me. The CCTV footage revealed the reason why. When I had run out of the reading room and into the concourse to my unguarded Mac I had allowed the glass door to swing into the face of Jane Baker, the small dark-haired President of the Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals, and distinguished guest of Peebles public library service.

She was now lying on a bench, nursing a big bruise on her head. It didn’t help that I was grinning like an ape in the stills captured by the CCTV.