I was incredibly excited that 23rd August had come round so quickly. Whatever happened to all those weeks since the reunion plans were fixed in May? I walked into the school hall and the first people I saw were LA and JT. This was going to be so much fun.

Then I noticed that there were some boys in the room. I recognised them from the comprehensive school. Who had invited them? MB had grown his red hair long, and was accompanied by a bunch of girls that included his sister and some others who also did not belong to our school. Amongst them was FF, who approached me with a mysterious message for my father: “Tell him that my uncle’s nephew’s second daughter is one”. When a graduate of mine popped up from nowhere to tell me a tale of having been run down by a bus on Princes Street (he offered graphic evidence by pulling down his jeans to show off his bruises), I was ready to leave.

But then XY came over and started to tickle me. This was so much fun. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I remembered that someone had told me that XY was dead. Who was this man? Or, indeed, was this a man? Perhaps I was being entertained by a ghost?