When my sister heard that I had a meeting in Newcastle she said that she would like to see me afterwards.

Northumbria University had changed considerably since my last visit. In an apparent effort to recruit more students, the campus was decked out like a funfair. Even the nearby Metro station was decorated in the same fashion. The old and unemployed looked rather bewildered and out of place as they passed beneath the garish displays.

The meeting with my sister did not go well. She wrecked a black Range Rover by driving it straight through a bollarded back alley in Jesmond. Then she did a runner from a crumbly hotel.

When I complained to my mother about my sister’s behaviour she replied that she thought that it was about time that I asked my work to pay my business expenses. I should stop relying on the generosity of friends and family to provide the finance to support my external university commitments.