My parents bought a huge Tudor mansion plus all its contents, including a priceless haul of antique oil paintings that lined the walls next to the massive oak staircase.

On the day that I visited, my cousin R was guarding the supply of Hebburn foam that he kept hidden behind the fireplace in an upstairs room. Meanwhile, below in the courtyard, my mother was leading some other visitors to the outdoor spa so that they could visit the pet dolphins.