I didn’t care that I was allergic to cats. I wanted two kittens, and I wanted them now.

The two men from the animal rescue centre opened up a couple of crates. Each one was crammed with a selection of poor creatures from which I was expected to make my choice. One man was keen that I consider a fully-grown cat, but I insisted on kittens. I chose a brown one and a black one from the same litter and carried them home in a closed brown cake box.

I knew TPR would be furious, but he needn’t have worried. My back-up plan was to pass the kittens on to GB and SPC just as soon as I was bored with them.