I made an important scientific discovery: each human hand has a unique print. My left hand print, for example, represented the finest Belgian lace. In contrast my right one comprised two sections, the top half littered with random islamic symbols and the bottom covered in tiny pictures of otters’ heads.

I concocted a clever plan to apply my new knowledge for commercial benefit. I contacted my friend JG to see if she could convert the images into knitting patterns. The idea was that we would make our fortune by selling the patterns on for glove manufacture.