I looked out of my kitchen window and spotted PC in his Everton strip heading out for a run across the Meadows. He hesitated when he reached the road, appeared to decide to wait for the car to pass, then changed his mind, made a dash for the other side, and disappeared under the vehicle’s wheels.

Had I just witnessed a death? Apparently not. PC leapt from the tarmac without a scratch on his body. I felt obliged and go and check in person that all was OK, so I rushed out the house to the site of the accident.

By the time I got there PC was nowhere to be seen. A passer-by explained that PC had left for the police station. This was nothing to do with the recent accident. PC was apparently was making a report on a more recent adventure: immediately after surviving the wheels of the car, he’d been mugged by a drug addict.