I was hidden from view, looking for something in the cloakroom under the stairs, when I heard the men clutter in. I could tell that they were heaving something very heavy. I peered round from my hiding place and saw a tiny bald man dressed in a brown caretaker’s coat, carrying the narrow end of an enormous coffin. It looked like he could barely keep hold it and I feared that he would drop it.

As he struggled to keep the coffin aloft the man swore loudly at his colleagues. Then he boasted loudly that he would soon be out of here spending his £600,000 retirement lump sum on a life of luxury in Spain.