Tall, slim, out-going, blonde and beautiful, Sharon would someday make someone a lovely wife. As far as I was concerned, however, the time was not now. In addition, when the happy day eventually came, I expected that her groom would be a good, straight man.

So why was this woman introducing me to all her friends and family as her fiancé, while dropping private hints about my forthcoming sex change? We barely knew one another, and the thought of surgery terrified me. Didn’t she know that there was no way I could consider living with someone when I hadn’t even confirmed that the potential partner shared my neatness obsession?

In complete misery, then, I arranged a secret rendez-vous at Loch Lomond with TPR. I was hopeful that he could rescue me from this terrible marriage-with-surgery trap. Perhaps he would marry me instead? When he revealed that he was leaving the country for a new job in Italy I knew all was lost. I stumbled in shock, and slid all the way down the grassy bank to the water.