When I said that I would join them just as soon as I finished addressing my postcards to the Palace most of the party shot me dirty looks. I didn’t care. They were just jealous that they – unlike me – could not claim Prince William as their brother-in-law.

Back at work and the state of my office had really deteriorated. When the rat popped its head out of the cupboard to survey the filth with me I knew it was time to demand a move.

The next day I was flying from Edinburgh to London for a meeting. I forgot to wash my hair before I set off for the airport, so as we boarded I asked the stewardess if there would be time to do so on the short flight. “Of course”, she replied, “If you’re quick”.