The criminals’ mission had been to kidnap a toddler. They were stealing to order. Only a child who shared the famous surname would do. Unfortunately, in their confusion the kidnappers had targeted a child whose surname was Smith. We had been in bed when the she was taken, and I did wonder whether I had dreamt it all. To kidnap children by alphabet all seemed a bit too organised, even to me.

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Because I’d been ill, and my sight was failing, my mother kindly drove me to Corstorphine for the meeting. I was barely out of the car when my boss tapped me on the shoulder and asked for a couple of minutes. She’d checked my calendar and then travelled all the way across town to intercept me just before the meeting started, so I surmised that she must be pretty keen to see me. I worried that there was something serious to tell, but when she led me to a red sofa in full view of everyone, I knew that the conversation would be uncontentious. After our chat, there was still some time to look around the shops, so I took the lift up to the Vera Wang floor to admire the dresses. Across the hall LF was selling hair ribbons with the same enthusiasm that he displayed in the past for computer sales. LF was so entertaining that I only remembered my meeting at 16:30. To my shame, I had missed the 16:00 start.