I returned from a long walk and was told to go on another one over open fields. I suggested I could manage three miles, and IW said to me, ‘Well, that should take us three hours’. I thought ‘That calculation seems wrong’.

Mike Tucker’s diversification into organic chorizo needed to be registered with the BBC.

A brattish child was using my bathroom and demanded an anglepoise lamp. As I was unplugging it, I loosened the fastening on a one day diary and all the pages flew out.