The vast consulting room was packed since the Coalition government’s reform of the health service: all medical appointments take place at 1pm each day, so nobody forgets their appointment, and each patient is seen by six doctors at once to eradicate demands for second opinions. I recognised the skin specialist immediately as the bald-headed, Noah-bearded Bill from Guess Who, but it was the junior doctor who took me for a ride on his green tandem that I loved the best.