Lessons in arrogance (Rousse)

‘They take a special class in arrogance as part of their medical training’ explained A, the nurse daughter of my friend DM.

Now I knew why hospital consultants were always so condescending to their patients.

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Starring with Rob Brydon (Rousse)

When TPR invited me to sit down in front of the television to watch the hottest new interactive television quiz show produced by Rhys John, Rob Brydon spotted me on the sofa and gave me a cheery wave.

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Teddy bears and a tall Swede (Rousse)

My latest strategy for clearing my mother’s house was to gather together any presents that I had given her in the past and reclaim them for myself. I picked up two handmade lawn cotton teddy bears. The larger one was definitely one of mine; the smaller (and scruffier) possibly a creation of my sister’s.

Meanwhile next door AH was settling down to life as a divorcé. When I popped round later to pay him a visit, I passed his ex-wife in the street with a very tall young man. Now I understood the reason for the split of our friends. I didn’t catch his name, but he was a two metre tall Swede.

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Back and forth between Newburgh-on-Ythan and Portobello by helicopter (Rousse)

The real reason for CM’s return to employment was to fund the helicopter that he and VAE bought to travel between their two homes in Newburgh-on-Ythan and Portobello.

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A first wife’s fortune (Rousse)

GG’s daughters were enraged when they learnt that their tall, handsome, suited father was not leaving his fortune to their mother, but instead to his first wife – me.

This decision made me wonder whether GG and I had ever divorced after our 18-month long marriage? If not, now ‘married’ to TPR, I was a bigamist.

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Gary Barlow punished (Rousse)

Gary Barlow’s punishment was to resurface a road that led up a very steep hill.

Barlow was not the only celebrity put to hard labour. I also recognised a Coronation Street actress in a top hat carrying a shovel.

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A ghostly PA (Rousse)

My new PA was my long-dead paternal grandmother.

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East Claremont Street camera thief (Rousse)

Moments after I dropped our camera on the pavement on the north side of Edinburgh’s East Claremont Street, a car travelling on the other side of the road skidded across the cobbles, crashed through the railings, and tipped into the area of the basement flat below.

I rushed down the steps to the aid of the driver (thankfully not dead as first feared) and TPR called an ambulance.

Meanwhile someone stole our camera from the street above.

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‘Friendly’ acid attack (Rousse)

Our supposed friend was no friend of mine.

He preened and pranced, kissing his favourites, including TPR.

When he reached me, he poured acid all over my knees ‘just for a laugh’.

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First frost at Niagara (Rousse)

Our visit to Canada coincided with the first frost of winter. Overnight the Niagara river froze, and the vegetation all around sparkled in the ice.

Most beautiful of all were the orchards lined with rows and rows of apple and pear trees. All the fruit transformed into sculptured, glassy ice baubles, hanging from the branches like Christmas tree decorations.

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