My (deceased) mother accidentally loaded the tumble dryer with a pile of dirty laundry and a cup of soap powder. Before she switched it on, I retrieved all the clothes and carried them in a bundle to Corbridge.

On the outskirts of the village I found my (also deceased) paternal grandmother living in a handsome stone house next to a field of Shetland ponies. I complained to my granny about the mix-up with the washing.

I also questioned my granny about the appearance of my mother. What business did she have interfering in my domestic duties, especially since she was dead?