I was using a borrowed bicycle and decided to park it, along with my suitcase, under a bench where a man and his dog were sleeping. I continued my journey on a night bus, and found a stranger’s handbag on my seat.

I travelled to east London and discovered a midnight ‘walking rave’ which I joined. Then I went to a pub in Borough and had my bottom caressed by a stranger. Uncertain who had done this, I chose the most attractive young man and invited him to join me. We walked through a hotel and its spa, which was packed with people having massages. Then we went into an office block where crowds of people were ready to start their shift at 2:30 am on the dot. I was still enjoying my night out so I stood on an empty office chair and shouted “You work in a factory farm – revolt!” But instead of starting a revolution, many of the office workers came up to me to explain why their jobs were amazing.

Returning to London Bridge to collect my borrowed bike, I realised that it had been replaced with a Shetland pony.

Every single corner of London had shown me something I had never seen before.