According to the ‘experts’, my sister wanted me dead because of an outward bound course in 1977. They concluded that she was jealous that my parents were willing to pay for just one of us to take part in this activity, and this would be me – not her.

The experts then pushed the pair of us into a quarry pool. They were keen to see if my sister would drown me. I knew that I was perfectly safe.

These experts were idiots. Just one glance at her would convince anyone that my sister had no interest whatsoever in outdoors pursuits.