When I saw the ‘luxurious’ single beds behind the curtain, I wished that I had selected this option for the night rather than the shallow soil grave in the main section.

I further regretted my accommodation choice when my former neighbour threw several random backpacks, a knife, some peas, and a couple of carrots into my bedding area to clear some space around her own. When I called her lazy, she burst into tears then told me that she had slept with TPR. ‘Hasn’t everyone?’ I retorted.

Out in the field, I bumped into my ex-colleague JB, who had just run a 5k race. I also took a phone call from a comedian. He told me that he had cancelled his show for the following afternoon because I was the only person who had bought a ticket.

On my way home I rescued a black puppy and donated it to a grateful elderly couple.