To kill time before my dinner date with TPR, I wandered around the huge Tesco store. I admired the massive suitcases, and the extensive collection of huge tents and other camping equipment.

When I exited the shop and started to walk towards the restaurant, a woman approached me. I was alarmed that she seemed intent on causing me harm. In fact, all that she wanted to do was offer me directions.

I reached the restaurant only to discover that it had gone out of business months ago. Furthermore, TPR was nowhere to be seen.

When I called TPR’s mobile, a stranger answered: ‘This is Laurence Passmore. You have been hacked. If you do not pay my ransom, I will release all your data’.