I knew that I had overstayed my welcome, living out of the contents of two large black bin bags in the spare room of my new, elderly friends.

My gift of three pretty decorated saucers cut in half was probably not adequate compensation for the kindness that they had shown me. In fact, I was in the bedroom deciding on the next saucer to slice (perhaps the sunflower one?) when my visit was brought to an abrupt end.

My hosts’ family members had reported me to the police for an act of fraud. Somehow, I had sold the couple’s cottage in the Cotswolds and pocketed the proceeds. Given that I didn’t even know that they owned another property, my arrest came as a terrible shock.