Why did we ever buy this inconvenient house in the Highlands? The only advantage of living here was that you could leave your front door unlocked without any risk of burglary.

The layout of the building was ridiculous. You walked straight through the front door into a dingy sitting/dining room with a tiny cupboard of a kitchen at the back. Upstairs was a box room labelled as a study (previously used by PB – a man of low morals who stole JT from my long-dead friend BT). Next to this was a stunning medieval dining hall, which would be great in an appropriate building, but not here. The one tiny bathroom, also upstairs, was impractical for anyone taller than 4’11”.

The next door neighbours were keen to explain how it was possible to change the layout to make the house habitable. Horrified at the level of required investment, we decided to leave things as they were.