So far the outdoor picnic party I had organised for my colleagues at Stonehenge was going swimmingly. Everyone was seated around stone tables, enjoying their food and drinking wine.

The same could not be said for me, however. I was still waiting on my first course (clam soup) while everyone else was on to puddings. I suspected foul play and carefully looked at my colleagues’ faces to see who might have bribed the wait staff to starve me. Having made several gentle reminders, a waiter slammed a can of Campbell’s Clam Soup in front of me. It had been half opened leaving a dangerously ragged metal lid perfect for slicing my fingers open.