Robert Gordon University was now the leading UK events venue, and buzzing with delegates when I arrived for a conference.

I soon found fellow academic BD and we agreed to meet the next morning at 8:00am for breakfast. I would have preferred 8:30am, but BD insisted on 30 minutes earlier to give us the chance to pack in as much networking as possible before the start of the conference sessions.

I left BD and set off for reception upstairs to check in and collect my room key. The route there was rather challenging. I couldn’t locate a staircase, and the first couple of times that I thought that I had found the ‘right’ lift, the staff inside barred my entry on the basis that I was not a member of a project team.

Eventually I made it to the reception desk. It was staffed by two glamorous women dressed for the 1970s in uniforms reminiscent of long-defunct airlines. Their make-up and hair matched the same era. Above eyelashes dripping in mascara, thick baby blue eyeshadow reached to just beneath their eyebrows. The fringes of their big hairstyles fell across their beaming faces.

One of the pair, who introduced herself as Stephanie, asked if she could help me. On learning my name, she pulled a copy of my reservation document from a file. She then requested my credit card for the £700 charge for my two nights of accommodation. This was almost double the advertised rate, or so I thought. Stephanie explained that the figure that I had in mind only applied if you paid in advance. £400 was within my credit card limit; £700 was not. It looked like I would not be staying here for the duration of the conference.

Just as I was turning to leave, a woman introduced herself to me as Katy. With her long red hair, I recognised her as a former member of staff of the University. She remarked that this institution was always coming up with new ways to rip off conference delegates. She also moaned about three prominent members of academic staff of my acquaintance. It struck me as she spoke that this threesome had also taken me for a ride in the past. They had begged me to deliver a keynote presentation at a conference at very short notice – which I did – and afterwards ignored me.