It seemed too good to be true that I could drive all the way along the pedestrian access and then park just outside the railway ticket office. Where was the no entry sign, and what had become of the double yellow lines?

Of course I was right: this was an illegal move. I was apprehended as soon as I stepped out of the car, then marched to a small office off the station’s main concourse. Here I could hear cries of pain as a fellow miscreant was punished for her offences.

When it was my turn to be seen, I was greeted by woman in a green uniform brandishing a long stick. To my great relief she explained that my sentence had been mitigated from a real hanging to a fake one. If I could just sit still for a few minutes, she would tug on my arms a little and then I would be released. I also had to promise that I would never again attempt to park at the station.