PMF was desperate to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe, but it was now far too late to secure a show entry in this summer’s programme.

‘Here’s an idea’, I suggested. ‘”Queue karaoke” could be the top performance of the Fringe! All you need to do is print off lyric sheets, distribute these amongst audience members stuck in queues at the larger venues, and encourage everyone to join you in song. You could pass a bucket around to collect your ‘ticket sales’ immediately afterwards.

‘Better still, you could donate all your proceeds to Cancer Research UK, while branding your performance as the single show of the “Edinburgh Breastival” .